What Spider-Man: Brand New Day Teaches Us About Grief

I've watched enough Marvel and DC films to know what to expect. New York (almost always) is in danger. A villain to defeat. Mind-boggling action sequences. Buildings collapsing just in time for the heroes to save the day.

Somewhere along the way, the films began to feel like a series of spectacles and nothing more. But Spider-Man: Brand New Day pleasantly surprised me.

Beneath all the swinging, explosions and familiar tropes is a surprisingly mature drama. One that isn't really about superheroes at all. It's about grief.

We rarely see grief as the central conflict in superhero films. It usually serves as motivation for revenge or becoming "stronger". But in Spider-Man: Brand New Day, grief isn't something to overcome. It's something Peter is living through.

To understand why, it helps to know where Peter Parker's story begins. At the end of Spider-Man: No Way Home, Peter asks Doctor Strange to cast a final spell that makes the world forget he ever existed. He’s already lost his aunt, May. This is the only way to save everyone and prevent villains from the multiverse bleeding through and destroying everything. The world still knows Spider-Man, but nobody remembers Peter Parker. Not his best friend Ned, not MJ, not anyone who once loved him.

Brand New Day begins with Peter living in the aftermath of that choice, trying to carry on with life. He is stuck carrying memories that nobody else shares and there is something uniquely painful about that. Peter isn't only mourning the loss of people. He's mourning a life - the whole life of Peter Parker before he became Spider-Man.

Peter responds the way many of us respond to grief. He buries himself in work, one of grief's favourite hiding places. Between missions, he visits Aunt May's grave and catches glimpses of MJ and Ned living the lives all three of them once dreamt of. He allows himself to sit with the loss for a moment, and then quickly goes back to showing up for a city facing yet another threat.

The film explores another response to grief through Jean Grey, a mutant. Jean spends much of the film searching for her sister, Sara, only to discover towards the end that she is gone. Peter and Jean are carrying different losses and their grief takes them down very different paths. Peter buries himself in being Spider-Man, while Jean's grief consumes her in destructive ways.

Towards the end of the film, Jean, using her psychic powers, finally enters Peter's mind. Having understood her grief, Peter tells Jean "Just because we've lost someone... it doesn't mean we have to do this alone. I mean we can't." That line is the beating heart of the film. Grief doesn't go away. But it also doesn't have to become another thing we carry by ourselves.

Grief isn't something that can be fixed or neatly resolved. It can show up unannounced, even when you think you're past it. Loss can be deeply transformational. It can alter the way we see ourselves and the world around us. But perhaps the most important thing Spider-Man: Brand New Day reminds us is that we aren’t meant to carry grief alone.

Grief often feels isolating. It can convince us that nobody else could possibly understand what we're carrying. That's one of the reasons peer support can matter.

If you're grieving the loss of someone, or the end of an important relationship, our Grief Peer Support Group is here for you. It's a space to connect with others, share your experiences if and when you're ready, and be reminded that even in loss, you don't have to navigate it by yourself.