Why is Rest so Difficult?

I was sick, coughing my way through the day with barely an ounce of energy left in me, and yet I came into work. Why? Because rest did not feel like an option.

This is not a motivational quote. It is a reality for many of us. In fact, it almost feels strange when someone says otherwise. It makes me wonder when and why this became so normal.

Today, hustle culture has us glorifying the bags under our eyes and the exhaustion we carry every day, wearing them like badges of honour. Rest, even after a demanding week, no longer seems necessary. Answering emails, staying available, and pushing through feel more important, or perhaps more expected.

This has now become a norm. We are constantly surrounded by reminders telling us to do more and be more productive. So, over time, rest starts to feel like something we need to earn.

The problem is not that we are against rest. Most of us know we need it. The problem is the guilt that often comes with choosing it.

Choosing rest can feel like we are falling behind or neglecting responsibilities. For many of us, that guilt is also tied to the fear of not doing enough, fear of disappointing others, or fear that someone else could take our place in uncertain times.

When you look at it that way, it starts to make sense why resting can feel so difficult. We might start to spend our days trying to prove ourselves worthy of it because rest becomes the reward. We tell ourselves that once we finish this task, meet that deadline, or achieve the next goal, we will finally slow down. But somehow, there is always something else waiting. And eventually, our worth becomes tied to our ‘productivity’. This makes it harder to step away.

If you resonate with this, know that you are not alone. It is not easy to choose differently when everything around us tells us to keep going. Perhaps it is necessary to remind ourselves what rest means, what it can look like, and what helps us recover.

We associate rest with something we think we ‘deserve’. But, it is actually a lot simpler than that. We simply need rest to function, to survive, and to go about our daily lives. Imagine starting your car with a full tank and driving all day – at some point, the tank will run out and you will refill it. Not because the car ‘deserves’ a pat on the back for running all day. But because it needs fuel to continue to run. Rest is a part of that refuelling and recovery for us (along with food and love and Maui).

Having said that, resting does not always have to mean a holiday or a weekend getaway on a beach. Sometimes it looks like sitting quietly with a cup of tea, allowing yourself a moment to look up at the sky, or simply doing nothing for a while. At other times, recovery might involve taking a short walk, stretching between meetings, or spending time on things and with people that help you feel connected to yourself. It can also mean setting boundaries with work and protecting enough time and space to rest.

We do not have to wait until we are burnt out to recognise that rest is something we need. So, as I write this, I plan on taking that sick day and asking myself something I think many of us can be curious about: what helps me rest and recover?